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gun slingers

 
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cullgav
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Joined: 15 Jan 2005
Posts: 330
Location: South uk

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:01 pm    Post subject: gun slingers Reply with quote

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day.

The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.

Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."

Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

Sure will," said the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. That's terrific!" said the cowboy, "Got any more tips for me?"

Yep," said the old man, "cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it.

That'll give you a smoother draw."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" said the cowboy, "I'm learning some things here -- got any more tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"No," said the old timer, ".but when Wyatt Earp gets done playin' the piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much."

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torquec1
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Joined: 02 Sep 2004
Posts: 2425

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Rolling eyes Good one Rolling eyes
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YPVS
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Joined: 28 Nov 2004
Posts: 313
Location: N Cambs, UK

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PML Gives ya finga Gives ya finga
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Grunty-Motor
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Joined: 16 Sep 2003
Posts: 1414
Location: Aberdeen

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In your best Sean Connery accent............

So, I went up to a girl in a club and says "Hi, my names Bond". She says "suppose your first name is James" and I says "no, its Uni - and I fill cracks"

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